FIND OUT HOW BETTY KEPT ME ON MY TOES

Our oven cooked turkey bacon with Pepper jack cheese is on the upper deck with our regular bacon and Colby jack cheese on the lower one. Served on your choice of toasted bread with your favorite spread plus any extra items you choose. Plus gently hand torn romaine and iceberg lettuce leaves, and center cut slices of hearty beefsteak tomatoes.

Want your BLT Club Sandwich All Pork’ed Up or All Fowl’ed Up. Just tell us, and we’ll either Pork It UP or Fowl It UP your entire sandwich instead!   

White, Wheat, Rye, Pumpernickel, Sourdough, Whole Grain or Multi Grain. On flat bread, Pita, Baguette, Panini, Chabata or wraps (Plain or Whole Wheat). On a Sub roll (round or long) or Surprise Me, and let us pick out the bread for your BLT SANDWICH  

Fresh – Slowly blended egg whites and EVOO create fresh Homemade Mayonnaise. 

Mayo – Hellmann's Real Mayonnaise.

Real – Kraft Real Mayonnaise.

Whip – Miracle Whip Salad Dressing.

No Fat – Hellmann's Fat Free Mayonnaise.

Free – Kraft Fat Free 1,000 Island Salad Dressing.

Yellow – French’s Yellow Mustard.

Brown – Gulden’s Spicy Brown Mustard.

Dijon – Grey Poupon Dijon Mustard.

Horse – Heinz Premium Horseradish Sauce.

Oil – EVOO (Extra Virgin Olive Oil) mixed with both Red and White Wine Vinegar.

The LOT Finisher

Which includes (Lettuce – a special blend of iceberg and romaine, with slices red and white Onions plus green scallions, along with hearty slices of beefsteak Tomato’s.

The STOP Finisher

Which offers (Spinach, hearty slices of beefsteak Tomato’s, with slices of red and white Onions plus green scallions along with Pepper rings cut from red, green, orange and yellow bell peppers).

The PLOTS Finisher

That combines both the LOT and STOP finishers without double tomato's and onions. But still includes (Pepper rings cut from red, green, orange and yellow bell peppers, Lettuce – a special blend of iceberg and romaine, with slices of red and white Onions plus green scallions, along with hearty slices of beefsteak Tomato’s and Spinach).

Unless of course you want us to add double onions and tomatoes to your BLT Sandwich or BLT Club Sandwich. If so, then just ask us for the STOP/LOT finisher instead.

Then with a trip to our extra item bar for any additional items that will make your sandwich a true masterpiece. Here's where you decide what additional items that you want to go with your BLT Sandwich or BLT Club Sandwich. 

At your request, we'll toss in a teaspoon of each ingredient you choose into your favorite spread. You can select just one item or each and every item we have listed below, as the potential combinations are endless. 

Call me old fashioned, but because a BLT Sandwich was basically the first club style sandwich that I ever had. A Fresh (homemade mayonnaise) BLT Sandwich All Porked Up or a Fresh (homemade mayonnaise) BLT - All Jacked Up Club Sandwich with a STOP/LOT finisher are my favorite ones.

Sweet Pickle Relish, Dill or India Pickle Relish, Celery, Onions (red, green and white), Tomatoes, Bell Peppers (red, green, orange and yellow) Olives (black and green), Jalapeno and Roasted Peppers. 

A few hours ago, I just got finished kicking Colleen to the curb. Because earlier that day, I over heard two of my shipmates, Doug and Allen from the Deck Department. And they were talking about this girl they met a couple of nights ago. But anyway, they said that this girl had twin unicorns tattooed on her left ass cheek, like Colleen did.

So I pretty quickly had to interject myself into their conversation by asking. “Did any of you guys see a date like 8-14-1963 tattooed right below the unicorns?”

Then Doug, on the defensive, just as quickly replied. “And so what if we did, what are you going to do about it Larry? Tell her mother or our chief about it?”

A chief or a Chief Petty Officer is kind of like your bosses boss. Still felling a little bit betrayed by both Colleen and my fellow shipmates for not answering my question, I continued saying. “If she did have that date on her left ass cheek, then her name is HM2 Colleen Adams. And I’ve also been sticking my dick in her for the past month. So if you guys have been fucking her too, I suggest that we all get checked out by the ship’s doctor in the morning at sick call.”

Sick call is were we go in the morning and after lunch if we have an ache, pain, sniffle or if something’s leaking from an orifice or any other part of our bodies. But again, Doug just blew me off by saying. “It’s none of your business who I stick my dick in. And besides, I’m not choking the plumbing when I take a wiz either. So fuck off.”

But a few minutes later, when Doug wasn’t around. Allen stopped by the Missile House and wanted to talk to me. So after inviting him to sit, I asked. “Well Allen, what’s on your mind?”

And that’s when Allen confided in me, by saying. “You were right Larry. Both me and Doug tag-teamed that lady doctor that you were talking about. And we took turns slapping those unicorns too, the ones with the date of 8-14-1963 that you said. But the lady didn’t tell us what the date or the unicorns meant. Do you know?”

Trying very had not to laugh or giggle at Allen’s confession, I simply replied. “Yes. First off, she’s only a nurse and not an actual Doctor, like the Ship’s Corpsman’s is. And the twin unicorns are for Colleen and her twin sister Charlotte. And the date is they day that they were born.”

After swallowing hard, I continued saying. “Plus Colleen also told me that her sister has the same tattoo on her right ass cheek too. Because when they were younger they would constantly swap boyfriends without the guys knowing it. But if it was me, I hope that I would remember if my girlfriend had a tattoo on her right or left ass cheek. And even if I didn’t, banging twin sisters or even just two sisters, was still one cherry that I need to get popped.”

Laughing now, Allen asked. “When I go down to the see the Shop’s Doc in the morning, what should I tell him?”

As I thought about Allen’s question for just a few seconds, I simply said. “You’re always better off telling the Doc the truth, because he can’t help you if he only knows part of the story. And you can always tell him what I plan on saying. Doc, this girl that I’m seeing is also fucking a few other guys on the ship too. Can we just double check to make sure I didn’t catch anything from her? And the doc will take it from there.”

Then Allen asked. “But what if the doc wants the names of the other sailors?”

Trying to put Allen’s mind at ease, I quickly replied. “He’ll only need that information if we caught something from Colleen. Otherwise, it’s totally up to you. And since I’ll already be in the line, you can drop my name if you like. Plus, I’m dumping Colleen just as soon as I get finished working and get down to the hospital to see her. But as for dropping Doug’s name, that’s also totally up to you.”

And after a brief pause, I continued saying. “Just keep this in mind though. It only takes one dirty dick to ruin that piece of ass for however many other dudes she’s been fucking. Maybe you can talk some sense into Doug; I simply couldn’t get through to him. And as far as we both know, Colleen’s had more dicks in her that a urinal down in Disneyland.”

After laughing again, Allen shook my hand, and thanked me for my concern and advice, before leaving the Missile House. The Missile House is where we load and launch the missiles from. Plus it’s also where we give the Ship’s visitors and guests a little dog and pony show from when they come to visit the ship. Plus it also gives us a place to hang out during the day, when we’re not actually working on the missile launcher or one of its support systems.

So as soon as I finished working and took a shower, I headed over to the base hospital to give Colleen a piece of my mind. And to be quite honest with you, I don’t know if I was hurt more because Colleen cheated on me. Or that I was more disappointed with her for not asking me to share a Three or Four Cheese Sandwich with her.

But either way, I broke it off with Colleen almost as soon as I saw her walk into the waiting room by saying. “I don’t know how many other guys you’re screwing, but you’re not screwing me anymore.”

Plus I made sure that I was loud enough for anyone within earshot to hear me too.

Anyway back to the story, because Emily used mall walking to relax and to calm down after a long work week. I also started doing the same thing at the mall shortly after we split up. Except I wasn’t using the mall for walking, I was using it for produce shopping.

You see, back when I was twelve and me and my older brother Anthony found our dad’s old playboy collection. I had no clue what a “Big B”, “a Small C” or what “a Double D” was. But because I went grocery shopping with my mother quite a bit while I was growing up, I knew produce.

And while secretly looking through those books with Anthony, I found myself looking at the girls with Apple or Orange-sized breasts a lot more than I did to the girls with Grapefruit or larger sized ones. So I guess you could say that from age 12 on, I was a breast man. Except on a much smaller scale than your average breast man would be.

Plus it didn’t matter to me if they were all covered up in one of the ads in the books either, I still stared at them. But deep down inside my heart of hearts, a fully exposed neck was still my favorite part of a woman’s anatomy. Especially when her hair was pinned up, leaving her neck both vulnerable and inviting.

And even though I’ve dated or have been with women having from Kiwi-sized tits to Cantaloupe-sized breasts. Today I still prefer my Apples and Oranges over all of the other ones. So since Emily, I easily adapted her mall walking into my relaxing mall sitting and produce shopping.

Plus because of the various fruits, I had to lump some of them together. Like in the Kiwi-sized breasts or fruits, I also included Lemons, Limes and Plums. While in the Apple-sized group, I had to add Peaches, Nectarines, Tangerines and Pears too.

Then with the Oranges and since no other fruit came close to it in size, they are in a class or group all by themselves. But since the Grapefruit is just about the same size as a Pomegranate, I put them both in the Grapefruit-sized breast grouping.

And because Cantaloupes, Honeydew’s and Watermelons are the only fruits within their size group also, they each hold that single breast size category as well. That is, unless you decide to toss Pumpkins and Tomatoes into the mix since they are actually considered a fruit too. 

And if so, then Pumpkins would simply add another fruit to each of the above three categories. Just like the Pomegranate was added to the Grapefruit group and Pumpkins come in small, medium and large sizes too.

Now as far as the Tomatoes go, Cherry and Campari tomatoes would fall into the Kiwi group. While the Roma or Plum tomatoes would go into the Apple category. And the Better Boy or Beefsteak Tomatoes would end up with the Orange-sized breasts. 

And lastly with the San Marzano tomatoes, since they look and remind me of saggy tits, they can fall into any category that you see fit, along with the numerous other varieties of tomatoes that are also out there on the market.

Plus I am also quite certain that some girls like to categorize and compare penis sizes with their girlfriends. Since from what I’ve seen, dicks seem to come in a vast assortment of lengths and thicknesses too. That range from a needle-dick bug fucker or string-bean sized peckers. All the way up to and including a baby carrot, an ear of corn, a cucumber, a zucchini or any other vegetable between them.

With the exception of maybe an eggplant, because in all the porno films that I’ve watched over the years. I have never seen a dude with a cock that reminded me of one yet. Although in Long Dong Silver’s case, his cock was so long that he could never get it hard.

Plus he couldn’t get a woman to swallow it whole or could never stick it all the way into a woman’s pussy either. Oh well, I guess some guys have it tougher then others.

So to avoid all of this fruit confusion, let’s just use the K.I.S.S. Method. Or Keep It Simple Stupid. And just do exactly what I’ve been doing for the past forty five plus years now. And that’s Kiwi, Apple, Orange, Grapefruit, Cantaloupe or Melon-sized.

Plus to date, I have never been with a girl with breasts smaller than a kiwi or larger then Cantaloupes yet. But who knows what tomorrow or what fruit my next ex girlfriend might bring to the table?

Anyway, back to the story at hand. Not that I was in the market for my next ex girlfriend or anything. But everyday that I didn’t have duty and since I kicked Colleen to the curb, I’ve been right here in the mall. 

While some folks might call it window shopping, or girl watching, I prefer to simply call it produce shopping instead. And I did exactly that, from the official end of my workday until the mall closed or until I was kicked out by the rent a cops or mall security.

Because lets face it, the mall had everything I needed to get over my breakup. Nice music, though tedious or redundant at times. Comfortable places to sit and enjoy the scenery, especially when you move around from time to time. They also have a wide variety of food and drink choices from the individual shops to the food court. 

And a clean place to take a leak, dump or to pull your pud when the need arises. No pun intended. Not to mention that its climate controlled too. And that was the main reason that Emily and her friends started mall walking in the first place.

Well, it’s been over a week and two of them were duty days. Since Colleen and I split up and I was a free man. And because I have duty again tomorrow, I decided to make it an early night at the mall tonight. So instead of just hanging out and produce shopping, I went to watch a movie instead.

But the last time I went to a movie theater alone. It still reminded me of Emily and the afternoon matinees we attended. And in her honor, I pulled my cock out and stuck in the bottom of a small popcorn bucket. 

Then I jerked off and ate the tainted kernels just like Emily did. But unlike the days I was with Emily, where she kept everything that I came in or on. I simply left my used and soiled popcorn bucket right there in the seat next next to me, when I left.

And since fall was rapidly approaching, and most of the young ladies remained bundled up while they shopped. Plus the days of bikini or halter tops with daisy dukes were becoming a thing of the past or just a distant memory. 

But the pickings down here at the local produce market, or the mall as it’s sometimes called. Were starting to get slimmer and slimmer as the days went by and I was no where near ready to give up the ship, quite yet anyway.

So after my movie, where I didn’t jerk off, I drove back to the ship. Then got naked and went to bed. And while I was there, I thought about how Colleen asked me out on a date during my follow-up visit to the hospital.

Plus during our date, Colleen told me that both she and HM2 McKerby or Rosemary enjoyed watching me jerk off. And that I was the first guy to do it down in x-ray too. Though they have both walked in on a few guys doing it up in the wards, but never in one of the treatment or exam rooms either. 

And it was also during my follow-up visit. That I confessed about wanting cumin on the x-ray room floor and lick it up afterwards. And Colleen even asked me, that instead of just going out to lunch or coffee on our first date. Could I give her a private showing of that in a hotel room after the ship returned from deployment? Plus, she even asked me if Rosemary could tag along too?

So with the hopes of having a Three-Cheese Sandwich with Colleen and Rosemary, I simply said. “Bring anyone you like.”

I just hoped that she didn’t bring another dude along. Although I’ve come a long way since I was offered to split Tess with another dude. And I thoroughly enjoyed watching Lilly giving Lance one of her patented blow-jobs while Helen was giving me a hand-job. 

Plus I somewhat enjoyed banging Iris while Jimmy was fucking Ashley in the same room. But I would have preferred that I was still the only one playing with and fucking Ashley. 

While Iris just sat back and watched us. It was too bad that neither of us thought about bringing any popcorn, because I could have easily buttered it for me, Iris and Ashley to share and enjoy.

Speaking of butter, it never took me long, back then or even now, to bust a nut. And my usual range goes from around three minutes on the first salvo, to around seven or eight minutes with a few nuts or bullets already through the barrel.

So needless to say, I spent the rest of the morning with Betty at the mall and my first task was to carry her coat around. 

But she did unbutton another button on her blouse and for the record; it was now a total of three. And this gave me a much better and deeper view of her orange grove. Along with the white lace bra that not only held, but only partially covered her lovely juicy fruits too.

Plus Betty also picked up the tab for two cups of coffee and a couple of breakfast sandwiches. I guess that it was her way of paying me back for all the hefty tips I gave her back at the bar. Then we planted our asses at one of the tables outside the bagel shop and continued chatting while we ate. Plus Betty was constantly leaning over the table and giving me a deeper and almost constant view of her partially covered oranges too.

After finishing breakfast, Betty and I went from store to store on our little spur of the moment shopping spree. Where she did all of the buying and flashing, while I did all the carrying between stores. Betty bought two pairs of shoes, one being black heals and the other was a pair of white flats. She picked up a couple of blouses, lavender and dark grey, along with a pair of grey slacks. Then we spent over an hour at a book store, and didn’t buy a thing.

But while Betty browsed the books, I was able to catch a few more down blouse views of her cleavage. Plus I also looked at a couple of the newer Dungeon and Dragons Rulebooks and a few of the soft cover novels too. But because nothing got me too overly excited, except for seeing parts of Betty’s partially hidden rack, I didn’t buy anything there either.

Then we walked into Victoria Secrets. And I hoped that Betty would pull a Lilly and leave the dressing room door partially open while she changed clothes. Or that she would at least come out and ask my opinion on what she was wearing and trying on. But because that never happened, I simply looked around for things that I liked or that I would have simply liked to wear.

Now wearing ladies lingerie was something that started back with Fay, where she would send me to school wearing her undergarments beneath my jeans and t-shirts. Or would have me parade around her apartment while I was only wearing them. And that lead to me just wearing her night clothes while I slept over on weekends and holidays.

But it was Lynn and ex girlfriend number 4, who first got me started wearing them in public and in front of others. And it was Iris and ex girlfriend number 8 who took that to a whole new level. By having me play dress up with Ashley, who was the owner of the lingerie shop. Just so Iris could take pictures of the both of us. Because some of Ashley’s regular client base was slowly changing.

And when a few cross-dressers or gay dudes started to frequent her shop. Then as word started spreading, Ashley wanted some pictures of dudes wearing some of the stuff she sold. So Iris quickly volunteered me for the task. Anyway, back to Betty’s story.  

I liked this light blue crotch-less silk panty and garter set with matching bra and stockings. Because I always loved the way that silk and satin felt against my bare skin. Plus the crotch-less panties allowed easy access to my cock and balls for stroking or jerking off.

Then there was also this crotch-less black full body stocking that went from ankles to collar to cuff and zippered in the back. And the zipper went from the crack of the wearer’s ass all the way up to the crew-neck style collar. Plus it also had zippers on each cuff, along with the inside of each leg. Along with the two removable nipple holes that were the size of Eisenhower Silver dollars. That would easily allow the wearers nipples and areolas to show.

The only problem was that I have always liked the colors purple, pink and green and I look better wearing pastels over opaque colors. But again, since Betty didn’t buy anything, I didn’t get anything either. Also that was a very long time ago and with different people too. But I might find myself back here doing some more browsing one day.

Next we hit one of the name brand card stores, and Betty picked up a couple of cards along with a gift card. Then we took a short break and sat at one of the entrances in chairs that were comfortable enough for me to easily fall asleep in. But because Betty and I kept talking, there was no time for napping. And this was also where I got Betty’s tale or her version of the lowdown or the skinny on why Trish and Betty had a falling out.

Now keep in mind that there are always two sides to every coin and not everyone sees things the same way all the time either. Plus Trish already gave me her version shortly after I moved in and it wasn’t even close to the tale that Betty just told me. You see, Trish told me that Betty was driving up the utility bills every month by leaving her bedroom light and the TV on even when she wasn’t home.

Plus in the warmer months, she kept her window air conditioning unit running all the time too, despite whether the central air was on or not. And Trish felt that Betty should kick in a few extra bucks every month, instead of just paying for half the utilities.

But the story Betty just gave me was that Trish would run around the house naked all the time, even when Betty had guests over. Although during the first two weeks of our relationship. I was the only one running around Trish’s apartment naked.

Because I told her that I slept in the nude, and that I would most likely be eating and watching TV in the buff too. But because it took Trish over two weeks for me to see her in the buff, I didn’t believe a single word of Betty’s story. And knowing full well that Trish was really in a bind for someone to cover half the rent and utilities, I just had to throw that little stipulation in prior to me moving in with her.

Then with me trying to hedge my bet and getting Trish to be my new fuck buddy or next girlfriend. Also because I was hoping that seeing me with a boner most of the time would also subliminally invite Trish to sleep with me on a regular if not on a daily one.

Trish just told me that she was fine with that. And it only took Trish two weeks, before she finally sat naked on the sofa with me and started playing grab-ass. Then later on that night, she was still naked in my bedroom doorway when she woke me up and asked. “Mind if I join you?”

And not wanting to look a gift horse, or gift sex in the mouth, I simply replied. “I don’t mind at all.”

Plus after that night, we were both walking around her apartment naked all the time. But until then, I couldn’t see Trish running around the house naked, unless she was doing laundry too. But during the two weeks that is took Trish to join me in the buff, she continued to do her laundry everyday, and fully clothed. Just like she said she did when Betty lived with her.

And even though I believed Trish’s version of the story more then I did Betty’s. I would still occasionally nod my head before saying. “If my girlfriend or roommate was always running around the house naked when I had guests over, that would rub me the wrong way too.”

But in reality, I wanted Betty to rub me the right way and to make me cum. Since I already had a stiff dick from the moment she unbuttoned her blouse for me, well over two hours earlier. Plus Betty also made it a point to keep flashing me her beautiful orange-sized cleavage quite often too.

And in every store that we shopped in so far, Betty made it a point to get down on her knees right in front of me while she looked for something to buy. Plus each time, when she got up, Betty also gave me a long down blouse view of her lovely orange grove. And they were also the best view that any voyeur could wish for.

Also the entire time that Betty and I were talking, she would occasionally ask me about questions like. “Larry, see that blonde over there in the pink dress? What size do you think her tits are?”

As I quickly guessed that she was just testing me or something. But also in the back of my mind, I started thinking that Betty might be bisexual like Candee was. And if that was the case, why in the hell would I complain if my female roommate was walking around in the buff all the time. Heck to me that would just be more eye candy and spank bank material to jerk myself off to later.

Anyway, when I answered Betty by saying, “The blonde in pink looks likes she’s 5 foot 8 or 9 inches tall and weighs around 170 or 180 pounds. She also appears to have orange-sized breasts, like yours but with brown eyes.”

Then Betty pointed over to a young lady with brown hair and wearing blue jeans and asked, “What about hers?”

And after a brief pause, I said. “Apple-sized, around 5 foot 5 or 6 inches tall and about 140 or 150 pounds.”

Finally Betty asked, “Larry, how about her, the brunette in green with the kid in the stroller?”

Again after a short pause, I simply replied. “Grapefruit-sized, 5 foot 10 or 11 inches tall and around 200 plus pounds, maybe 220 pounds tops. And from here her boobs look like fake ones too.”

Giggling slightly, Betty asked. “You can tell a set of fake tits from this distance, how?”

Now this lady had a CPA, or Closest Point of Approach of about 15 feet. CPA is a nautical or naval term for how close two ships will get to each other. So I quickly replied, “By the unnatural way they bounce when she’s walking. Because a natural beast will have an ebb and flow to it like a ripple or wave on the water when it moves. And hers move more like rocks rolling down a hill, and moving awkwardly or all at once.”

Laughing now, Betty quickly said. “Ripples, waves, rocks and hills it can’t be that simple. Larry, can you also tell if a woman’s breasts are real just by touching or feeling them too?”

As Betty slowly took my left hand and placed it on her right breast. Now picture this batman, Betty and I are sitting at one of the entrances to the mall almost face to face. And the girl puts the guys hand right on her breast. So my natural instincts took over and I immediately pulled my hand off Betty’s tit. Heck, we weren’t even officially dating yet. 

Giggling again, Betty softly asked. “Was that all you needed to tell if my tits are natural or fake ones?”

And to be quite honest with all of you guys and gals out there reading this, all of my ex girlfriends have had natural or god made breasts and not man made or fake ones. But I didn’t have enough surface time or data to make a decision on Betty’s boobs yet. So I quickly confessed, by saying. “I don’t know, I didn’t get a chance to squeeze them and find out.” 

And that’s when Betty practically thrust her right breast right in my face and said. “Take all the time you need.”

Now remember where we are, so I very reluctantly grabbed Betty’s right boob and stated to slowly squeeze it. Then after a few gentle ones, like five or six, I gave her breast a couple of firmer ones, before reaching my decision and saying. “They feel like natural boobs to me.”

Taking my hand in hers, Betty quickly said. “Well Larry, you’re right. My tits are 100 percent natural with no man made fillers or artificial preservatives added.”

Now it was my turn to start gigging before softly saying. “I thought you were going to try and fool me or trick me by saying that they were fake ones.”

Betty with a very serious look on her face quickly shot back. “Now, that’s no way to start a relationship is it?”

Thinking to myself and using my inside voice, I said. “First base is hand on boob and that’s how Suzan and I started.” 

Although Suzan and I officially started running the bases, around third base. Or ass backwards, when Suzan gave me a hand job in a bus stop on a busy street. Then I got to finger fuck her in that very same bus stop after she let me hold her bare tit while she was babysitting.