SEE WHY TORI WAS ALWAYS WET AND STICKY

Fresh – Slowly blended egg whites and EVOO create fresh Homemade Mayonnaise. 

Mayo – Hellmann's Real Mayonnaise.

Real – Kraft Real Mayonnaise.

Whip – Miracle Whip Salad Dressing.

No Fat – Hellmann's Fat Free Mayonnaise.

Free – Kraft Fat Free 1,000 Island Salad Dressing.

Yellow – French’s Yellow Mustard.

Brown – Gulden’s Spicy Brown Mustard.

Dijon – Grey Poupon Dijon Mustard.

Horse – Heinz Premium Horseradish Sauce.

Oil – EVOO (Extra Virgin Olive Oil) mixed with both Red and White Wine Vinegar.

After you’ve made your spread selection, we’ll mix in 2 teaspoons if you want your tuna base Dry, 3 teaspoons in your tuna base for Normal and 4 teaspoons in your tuna base if you want it Wet. 

And if I might add, the oil tastes nasty in a grilled Tuna Melt Sandwich, though it’s not too bad in a Plain Tuna Salad Sandwich.  

Our tuna base mixed with your favorite spread on white bread and grilled until its golden brown.  

Our tuna base mixed with your favorite spread plus both black and green olives then served in pocket and grilled until its golden brown.

Our tuna base mixed with your favorite spread with celery, red onions and green peppers on toasted white bread and grilled until its golden brown.  

Our tuna base mixed with sweet pickle relish on rye bread and grilled until its golden brown.  

Our tuna base mixed with your favorite spread and dill or India pickle relish on sourdough bread and grilled until its golden brown.  

Make the Upper and Lower Decks the same or select four different Cheese Selections along with one or two Tuna Salad combinations. Served on your choice of three slices of Bread, with the center slice holding this entire delicious sandwich together and grilled until its golden brown.

Mix or match any three Bread Choices along with any four Cheese Selections from those listed above. Then pick one (or two) of our Spread Choices (for the Upper and Lower Decks, plus a few (or all of the) Extra Items (if you like). And finally top it all off with one (or two) of our Standard Finishers.

Want bacon in your sandwich too? Simply tell us to Pork it Up (regular bacon on both decks), Fowl it Up (turkey bacon on both decks) or to Mix it Up (and we’ll put regular bacon on one deck and turkey bacon on the other deck).

Might I suggest a Whip (made with miracle whip salad dressing). Spicy (tuna salad with jalapeno peppers). Melted (on the grill). Heavy (grilled with butter). Club (both deck’s the same). With 2 slices of Wheat Bread on the outside and a single slice of Multi-Grain Bread in the middle with two slices of Pepper Jack Cheese on both decks. Then Make it Burn Baby (mixed with 3 teaspoons of our 3-P paste).

Or a Fresh (made with homemade mayonnaise). Bad Breath (tuna salad mixed with red, green and white onions), Melted (on the grill), Light (grilled with margarine). Club (both decks the same), on three slices of Sourdough Bread and two slices of Limburger Cheese on both decks. Then Make it Burn Baby (mixed with 3 teaspoons of our 3-P paste).

Just try not to kiss anyone while eating this sandwich and wait a few hours afterwards, before attempting to do so to a loved one.

The LOT Finisher

Which includes (Lettuce – a special blend of iceberg and romaine, with slices red and white Onions plus green scallions, along with hearty slices of beefsteak Tomato’s.

The STOP Finisher

Which offers (Spinach, hearty slices of beefsteak Tomato’s, with slices of red and white Onions plus green scallions along with Pepper rings  cut from red, green, orange and yellow bell peppers).

The PLOTS Finisher

That combines both the LOT and STOP finishers without double tomato's and onions. But still includes (Pepper rings cut from red, green, orange and yellow bell peppers, Lettuce – a special blend of iceberg and romaine, with slices of red and white Onions plus green scallions, along with hearty slices of beefsteak Tomato’s and Spinach).

Unless of course you want us to add double onions and tomatoes to your Tuna Melt Sandwich or Tuna Melt Club Sandwich. If so, then just ask us for the STOP/LOT finisher instead.

Then with a trip to our extra item bar for any additional items that will make your sandwich a true masterpiece. Here's where you decide what additional items that you want to go with your Tuna Melt Sandwich.

At your request, we'll toss in a teaspoon of each ingredient you choose into your favorite spread. You can select just one item or each and every item we have listed below, as the potential combinations are endless.

I prefer to have all of my Tuna Melt Sandwiches grilled Heavy (with butter) and filled with Sweet Pickle Relish.  

Sweet Pickle Relish, Dill or India Pickle Relish, Celery, Onions (red, green and white), Tomatoes, Bell Peppers (red, green, orange and yellow) Olives (black and green), Jalapeno and Roasted Peppers. 

Then if you want to give your Tuna Melt Sandwich's some added kick. Just ask us to add some of our Homemade Three Pepper Paste or 3-P to your favorite spread.

If you tell us Turn up the Heat, we’ll mix in one teaspoon. But if you tell us to Set it on Fire, we’ll mix in two teaspoons. Or if you want us to Make it Burn Baby, we’ll mix in three teaspoons.  

Wearing latex gloves we remove the stems on five or six dried Chipole and Habanro peppers.

Then we slice each pepper and under cold running water to remove the seeds and membrane. And after all the peppers have been rinsed and cleaned, we cook them over a low heat in four cups of water. While their cooking, we cut the stems and tips off five or six Jalapeño peppers, which is the third pepper in our homemade paste. Next we slice and rinse the center portion of the Jalapeños and finely chop them for the additional item bar. Once we remove the meat from around the stem and toss it in the pot with the tips. Now we dice up about a half-cup of each red and yellow onion’s and green and red bell peppers.

When the peppers are done cooking and cooled, we place them in the blender with the onions, bell peppers, and the crushed cloves of a whole garlic bulb with a tablespoon of each of the following ingredients. Paprika, cumin, salt and course ground black pepper.   Lastly using some of the water we cooked the peppers in, we add it in slowly to our blended mix. As we're looking for the consistency of oatmeal and the ability to stick to an upturned spoon without falling off.

Once we achieve this, it's off to the fridge in a covered bowl. Where it will last about a week or until it's needed to add some extra heat to you’re favorite spread on any of our sandwiches.       

Tori wasn’t free to date, but she practically handed me Sally's sweet pussy on a silver platter.

While I was waiting to watch Tori dance, I was keeping track of when Sally's breaks started.

And yes, Vlad the Impaler was introduced to Sally's throat and to her snatch in a big way.  

No, she didn't bake me one. But in her bedroom it was still spread out for me nice and wide.

After giving Sally her very first oral orgasm, she tightly wraps me up with her arms and legs.

Although Sally only turned out to be a one night stand, we still had an amazing time in bed.

And as soon as Sally was out of sight, I pulled my wheel book out of my pocket and gently tore some pages from it. A wheel book is a small green memo style book that sailors carry around to write important stuff on that they want to remember in. a.k.a., a paper brain.

As a mater of fact, I also used one to catalog all the shoe stores that I visited on my trip up north. Then I neatly tore some of those pages in half and started doing some ciphering, as Maxx Bear called it on the Beverly Hillbillies.

So on one of the half pages I wrote, 60 seconds times 15 minutes equals 900 seconds. Then on the back of it I wrote 840 seconds. And on another half sheet I wrote 780 seconds, while on the back of that one, I wrote 720 seconds. And I continued doing this, until I was down to 60 seconds.

At which point I wrote 50, 40, 30, etc. until I reached 10 seconds on additional half pieces of paper. And I continued to give Sally a standard 10 second countdown on the rest of the pieces. Then on a full sized piece of paper I simply wrote, Until Sally Returns. While on the back of it I added, It's Sally Time.

Then just like clockwork, I updated my little countdown as each minute passed. And every time Sally walked by my table, I added a little smiley face to the full size piece of paper that read “Until Sally Returns.”

And that's also when I knew that I had her hooked. Because each time Sally passed by, she would momentarily pause and giggle. Plus Sally appeared to stop by more and more often, sometimes even walking out of her way just to check her paper timer. And let me tell you this, I was updating it regularly.

Plus Vlad, my current name for my cock, and I wanted Sally bouncing up and down on my blood filled pogo stick. Or if Sally wasn't into cowgirl or reverse cowgirl, Vlad could always breakout the jackhammer and drill down into Sally's pink fleshy foundation.

Or if Sally was into doggy style, my personal favorite, I would be more than happy to ride that mare until I busted a nut deep inside her home stretch. And hopefully we would cross over the finish line together without consulting the photo finish, to see who actually came first.

I don't want to get ahead of myself here; I still haven't sealed the deal with Sally yet. And if all she was willing to offer was a blowjob. I wouldn't want to hurt her feelings and refuse one, and would gladly accept it. Because just like it was with Marge, sometimes you just need to get your foot in the door. But in both cases, it would be my swollen cock in their mouth instead of my foot. 

Because I sometimes have ways of turning a simple blowjob into a full blown down and dirty piece of ass. I just need to break the code and find the right combination before I busted a nut. Or at least shortly afterwards, so I can easily work my magic on my partner.

And in Marge’s case, it was me simply playing with her hair while she blew me. That allowed me to unlock the code of her sexual desire. And I was hoping that my minute by minute updates were starting to get Sally so excited, that it was making some of her DNA start dripping from her crotch.

But now I had to turn my attention to the stage, because John the DJ just introduced Tori's, signaling that she was about to start her set. Then just like I did so many years ago, when I first saw Tori strip on stage. I pulled out a wad of Washington's and built a monument in her honor.

And ever since my first attempt to see Tori, I already had a set of 21 singles pre-folded in half the long way. Plus I made sure that each and every one of them had a good sharp crease in them too. And this was accomplished by slowly running them across the edge of a table.

Now with my stack of folded Washington's in hand, I walked up to the stage and sat down. While I was there, I recreated her first Washington Monument with the 21 single dollar bills. And I did this, so Tori could easily collect them while she danced.

Except that her original Washington Monument had an Andrew Jackson hiding out in the basement. And that actually made it a 40 dollar monument vice the 21 dollar one that I planned on making for her tonight.

And in order to do this, I first placed three singles side by side pointing towards my chair at the back table. Then I rotated another two more bills 90 degrees and placed them directly on top of the first three, with a very small gap or space in the middle. Then I placed another three dollars on top of those two, also rotated 90 degrees.

I continued this process until I capped the top off with my last buck. And wala, we have the Washington Monument eight stories high capped off with a single dollar bill. And when I was finished, I quickly returned to my seat at the back table, to enjoy the rest of the show.

But shortly after I was seated, my viewing pleasure was interrupted by a claim jumping local. After he saw me leave the stage seating area and relocate to a back table. This grave robber struck by quickly jumping into the now vacant stage-side seat. I guessed that he figured that he would get credit for the building the masterpiece directly in front of him.

But Tori wasn’t blonde and she also wasn’t born last night. Plus she actually saw me building it during the first song of her three song set, so she wasn't buying it. And to top it all off, I could safely wager a Franklin. That the last and only time Tori saw one of these, was when I built her first one back in 1981. Plus it was also the same night we met and hooked up the first time.

But Tori being the true professional that she was, danced for both me and my grave robbing local. And Tori accomplished this by spending a brief amount of time in front of the local, as she collected a few dollars at a time. Then after spending a few seconds in front of all the other stage hugger's, Tori spent the majority of her time where I could clearly watch her dance.

When her second song ended, Tori blew everyone stage side a kiss as she piled her tips in the middle of the stage. Plus earlier when Tori said if I needed her help with Sally, just put twenty dollars in the basement. She was referring to the center bill on the first floor, or in the basement, of the Monument. Just like where I put an Andrew Jackson for her almost four years ago.

The important thing was that Tori somehow knew I would construct another one for her today. Except this time though, I only put a dollar or George Washington in the basement. Because I felt I didn't need her help by putting in a good word for me with Sally.

Then during the third and final song of Tori's set, she spent and equal amount of time dancing for the rest of the gentlemen seated against the stage. But I personally call them stage monkeys, because after a few drinks or only buying the minimum. They all just basically hang out stage side most of the day. And some of them are even tightwads when it comes to tips. So most of them won't even part with a single dollar bill as the ladies strip and dance their hearts out for them.

Once Tori's last song ended, the DJ said. “Let’s give a round of applause for the Tantalizing Tori.”

Everyone started clapping except for the grave robbing local, who was slowly making his way back to his original seat. Since Tori spent the majority of her second song dancing in front of me and the claim jumper. Still before Tori collected her cash, she made another quick pass of the stage edge blowing all the guys kisses, even the DJ.

Then John quickly announced. “Now everyone give a big round of applause for the Mischievous Morgan.”

And as Morgan took the stage, I just put up the 60 seconds sign next to my Until Sally Returns paper counter. But the only problem was, I didn't know exactly how many minutes remained. Because Sally said around 15 minutes until her next break. So I randomly continued my count down until I reached 1 second.

Now that my trusty old NASA countdown, (Now Anticipating Sally's Arrival), was at T minus 1 second and holding. Because I would rather say, “Right on time.”

As Sally sat down, rather than having to say. “You’re late.”

Now that I was in a holding pattern for a very long minute or two, and when she finally showed up, I quickly covered up the one second piece of paper with one that said “It's Sally Time.”

And once Sally saw my new sign, it immediately caused her to start laughing. Then I slowly stood up and gently took her hand in mine. And after I lightly kissed Sally's knuckles, I said “Right on time.”

Next, being the nice little Italian boy from a good family that I am. I pulled a chair out for Sally to sit in while she joined me. And once Sally was seated, I quickly took the seat 90 degrees to her right rather than the one directly across from her. This way we could have a more intimate conversation without having an entire table between us.

And once we were both settled, I said. “Sally, I want to thank you for joining me. Please tell me a little bit about yourself, before I completely bore you to death with my life story.”

Sally giggling now said. “I really liked that tower thing you build for Tori on stage, what do you call it?”

Giggling myself, I replied. “I call it The Washington Monument, because it's made entirely of one dollar bills or George Washington's.”

Laughing now, Sally said. “I've never seen anyone make one of those things before.”

Adding my laughter to Sally's, I simply replied. “That's because it's a Larry original. And I've only made one for the same girl twice now.”

Then Sally let it slip, by saying. “Tori told me earlier that you were going to build something for her tonight.”

And that's when I knew that Tori already talked to Sally about me. So I guess I owe her twenty bucks after all, even though I didn't think I needed her help. But Tori still might have greased the skids leading Vlad right up between Sally's legs. And since there's no way in hell to know for sure if Tori's talk helped out or not. The only honorable thing to do is pay the lady the next time I see her.

Next Sally asked. “Do you and Tori have a thing?”

After swallowing hard, I took Sally's hand in mine and said. “Sally, I don't believe in playing mind games or beating around the bush. I prefer to be up front and honest with the young ladies that I'm sleeping with. Or Sally in your particular case, the pretty young lady that I would like to be sleeping with. And no, Tori and I don't have a thing, but we did sleep together once over three years ago. Back when she was going through a rough patch with Dwayne. And because my girlfriend just dumped me before she ran off to California.”

At least that was the lie I told Tori back then. But in truth, Helen did dump me almost seven months earlier than I indicated to Tori. So I figured that I would be better off sticking to the same lie, rather then trying to invent a new one.

And after taking a sip of my drink, I continued with. “Tori and I were just two lost and lonely souls with broken hearts that needed mending. And since both of us shared the same pain and anguish. It was only natural that we wound up sleeping together as we comforted each other during our time of need.”

After I swallowed hard, I went on by saying. “I will never forget Tori for helping me out that night and most of the next day too. Plus I'm pretty sure that Tori won't forget me either for doing the same for her. And since Tori and Dwayne are back together now, I can't help feeling that I might have played a small part in that. After all, Tori and Dwayne were High School sweethearts and they belong with each other.”

That's when Sally's eyes started tearing up, as she said. “My boyfriend Mike and I were High School sweethearts too and he's the only man I've ever been with.”

Quickly getting up and moving my chair closer to Sally's, I put my arm around her and said. “My girlfriend wouldn't move up here with me because she needed some space and wanted to take a break.”

I just conveniently left off the part about me not telling Iris where I was going. And that I was the one who wanted the break because Iris lied to me. Plus I already knew for certain that Iris would have tripped over herself to move up here with me. And that Iris would have even moved over seas or Tim Buck two for that matter, if I just asked her to accompany me.

After sniffling a couple of times, Sally finally said. “That's almost exactly what Mike told me, except he said that he needed to clear his head too.”

Still holding Sally's body tight against mine, I replied. “Sally, since both our hearts are truly broken over the fact that our partners decided to take a break from us. Maybe we can get together after work and help each other out?”

Then sniffling a few more times, Sally asked. “Just like you and Tori did?”

And in less then a single heartbeat, I simply replied. “If you want, but if all you want to do is sit and talk or hold each others hand, that's OK with me too. And I would never ask or even force you, or anyone else for that matter, to do anything that they weren't comfortable or willing to do in the first place. But if we did end up sleeping together tonight or some other night in the future, maybe we could teach each other a trick or two about relationships?”

Half sniffling and giggling now, Sally asked. “I've only been with one man in my entire life. And you've been with at least three, what could I possibility teach you about relationships?”

Giggling myself, and just to lighten the mood a bit, I said. “Actually, I've had nine girlfriends.”

I just decided not to include my one night stands, and Ashley or Kimberly for that matter. Because I didn't want to scare Sally off before I slipped between the sheets with her.

Then I continued with. “And they have lasted anywhere from 3 days to almost two years, but they all ended. And even with all those girlfriends, I never had the opportunity for a second chance with any of them. Maybe you and Tori hold the one piece of the puzzle that I'm missing. Tori and Dwayne have been back together three times that I know of. And if you Mike hook back up, I’ll need that puzzle piece too.”

Lying right out of my ass, I continued with. “So maybe I could use that piece to put mine and Emily's relationship back together. That's what you can teach me. Tori might only have half of what I need and you could be holding the rest of it.”

Just giggling now, Sally simply said. “Mike started this break almost a month ago. And I never knew that I could be holding a puzzle piece or the key to anything, especially how to keep a relationship together. But Mike and I were together for almost three years before he decided that he needed a break. That's almost a year longer then any of your relationships were, maybe I do hold a secret after all.”

When Sally looked at her watch, she quickly stood up and said. “I have to get back to work now.”

And as I stood to join her, Sally kissed me on the cheek and said. “Larry thanks for all your help tonight. If your still here when I get off work, I would like to sit and talk to you some more about this.”

After quickly clearing my throat, I responded with. “Sally, wild horses couldn't drag me away from here tonight without you walking by my side. And I will continue to count the sips and the seconds until you return.”

Which caused Sally to giggle once again as she slowly walked away from my table and back to work. 

As we headed off to the parking lot in different directions, Sally and I were still laughing. And she went through the employee entrance, while I exited through the front door. After I pointed out my van, I escorted Sally to her car.

But I also noticed out of the corner of my eye. That Derrick left the building too and was watching us. And after closing Sally's door behind her, I walked over to my van and got inside. Then before I closed my door, I used my Lance, Lilly and Helen training to slowly scan the parking lot for any further signs of Derrick. And after not seeing hind or hair of him, I started my van and closed the door.

Then I quickly caught up with Sally near the exit, and we were finally off to Sally's house and a booty call. Although I did hate missing Tori's third and final set, but my big brain was quickly voted out of office by a margin of three to one, when my balls decided to stick with Vlad.

And ever since the three of them started hanging out together after I turned fourteen and met Nancy. My big brain was always out voted out when I came to jerking off or having sex. And though I hated to admit it, this time they were right as usual.

Because a booty call will always beat a booty shaking on stage every time. Just like a full house beats a flush in poker. I was chomping at the bit to poke her myself, meaning Sally of course.

Even if I had to bluff my way in, I wanted to see if my hard on could beat Sally's pair of tits. Or having my three genitals slowly make their way past Sally’s two pair of knees and thighs. And if all else fails, though I wouldn't actually be filling Sally's house as I flushed my pipes into her womanhood.

Plus with any luck, we could both end up holding a royal flush if we manage to cum together at the same time. And that would definitely make Sally's and my night together a truly memorable poke-her night. That is if we ever get there, so we can actually start playing.

But long before we arrived at Sally’s house, all those thoughts about poking her made my cock stiff as a board again. Not to mention it made my last jerking off session in the strip club's men’s room a very distant memory.

Though I was still hoping I could get more then two pumps and a jerk out of Vlad, before he throws in the towel and spits all over Sally's hand or in her pussy. Fortunately for me it was a long drive to Sally's house.

Because it gave me time to think about the smell of Lynn’s refrigerator when I first opened it over and over again.

And with that, I added the thought about how Emily made me jerk off in the Atlantic  Ocean in waist high water while the beach was crowded with people. Or she wasn't going to give me my swim trunks back. And as I was cumin some salt water got inside my pee-hole and started burning the inside of my dick off until I finally pissed all the dam salt out. 

But at least both of those two and not so fond memories helped me cool both mine and Vlad's jets. Because when we finally reached Sally's place, about forty five minutes or so later, my cock was easily hanging soft and limp against my inner leg.

But all that soon changed when Sally closed her apartment door behind us. Because she slowly started stripping for me right there in the middle of her living room. And Sally's 140 pound 5 foot nine inch frame moved perfectly as she danced and removed each and every piece of clothing one article at a time.

Then once Sally's outer shell was removed, it revealed her beautiful orange sized breasts with light pink areolas and nipples. Sally also had a sweet patch of well manicured short dark brown hair below her waist too. And while Sally was dancing and stripping for me she said. “Mike won't let me strip and dance. Because no girlfriend of his is going to take their clothes off for strangers to gawk at. Now get those silly notions out of your head, girl.”

Now that Sally was completely naked, she asked. “Do I dance as well as Tori does?”

After wrapping my arms around Sally's lovely naked body, I simply replied. “Darling if you were my girlfriend, you could do almost anything you wanted to. As long as you came home and danced for me every night.”

Giggling Sally undid my belt and slowly unbuttoned my 501's, and asked. “And exactly what can't I do, even if I come home and striped for you every night?”

Sally quickly dropped to her knees and took Vlad's mushroomed shaped head into her mouth. I swallowed hard, and said. “You definitely can't do that to anyone but me.”

And as Sally's lips and tongue worked in unison while magically swallowing my entire sword, I managed to choke out. “You can't do that to anyone else either.”

As I quickly grabbed two handfuls of Sally's silky brown hair and drove Vlad in, even deeper. And in between thrusts, Sally's let a brief giggle escape her lips before swallowing Vlad the Impaler once again. Now as Sally throat and tonsils started milking Vlad's head and mighty shaft, I moaned and let out a very soft. “You won't be allowed to do that either.”

Then after a dozen or so heartbeats passed, and right after Sally impaled her tonsils on Vlad's German War Helmeted head, for a fifth time. I lost that tiny shred of self control that I used to hold back the flood gates deep within my loins.

Then in less than a jiffy click, a term sometimes used in the navy meaning less than a second later. I emptied my balls and bathed Sally's throat and tonsils with my luscious man made cream of Larry. And as I pumped out stream after stream of nut butter, Sally hungrily swallowed my pineapple sweetened load.

I opened both fists, thus freeing Sally's entangled locks, she slowly let Vlad slide out of her oral vacuum cleaner. Then as Sally smacked her lips together and said. “That was the sweetest load of cum that I ever tasted.”

And when I finally caught my breath a moment or two later, I just said. “Miss, I’m sorry. But you won't be allowed to do that to anyone else either.”

Which caused Sally to begin giggling again and when she stopped, she asked. “Are you sure?”

As I helped Sally to her feet, I simply replied. “If you did that to me twice a week, I would even drive you back and forth to the strip club. So you wouldn't have to worry about anything except dancing your little heart out.”

Standing and laughing now, Sally asked. “But what if I did that every day?”

And all I could do was respond with the first thing that popped into my head, which of course, was basically what I did for almost seven months with Iris, as I replied. “Baby if you did that to me everyday, my balls would be stuck to you like a colostomy bag waiting to be emptied again.”

After pulling Sally’s body tight against mine, I continued saying. “Then as a special added treat for cleaning out my pipes out like that everyday, I would drive you back and forth to the strip club totally naked. Plus I would stand there in all my glory, with either a raging hard on or totally limp. As I held out my hand for you, until you decided it was time for you to exit or enter your chariot. No matter how long that took.”

Sally laughing her ass off now took a solid two or three minutes before she stood still long enough for me grab a hold of her again. And once she was firmly in my grasp, I placed a very passionate lip lock on her sweet and tender lips.

Sally had absolutely no reservations about kissing a man that she just blew, because she kissed me back just as hard as I kissed her. Except I think her tongue was down my throat a little bit longer then mine was down hers. So if the truth were to be told, Sally won the tongue wrestling contest and the battle over the wet whistles.

And I couldn't wait to get another one of Sally's outstanding blowjobs. Because so far, Sally had just edged Tori out of second place as the Princess of the Penis Suckers, at least in my book anyway. And it was because of the way Sally's made her lips, tongue, tonsils, cheeks and throat all work together in unison to break down Vlad stiff resolve and hardened exterior.

Plus it reminded me of how John Williams conducted the Boston Pops when they played the Original Star Wars Theme song. But it was due to Ashley's unnatural ability to hold her breath, which kept her firmly seated in first place as the Queen of Blowjobs. Well, at least to date anyway.

When our lips finally parted ways, Sally took both my hands as we slowly lowered ourselves to the floor. As she very shyly confessed. “I've never had much success with Mike eating me out before, but you’re welcomed to try if you like. And if you want, I can even fake that I'm enjoying it for you just like I do for him. Or we can just start having sex if you like.”

Then after quickly saying to myself while using my inside voice, I thought. “Wow, Sally’s missing out on half of the total 69 sexual experience. Which meant in layman’s terms, that Sally was only 34 and a half percent satisfied with having oral sex. And with my talented tongue and luscious lips, I could easily double that number.”

Then I quickly replied. “It's up to you to show mike how to turn your spigot on and off. And did you ever consider that you might have been the first woman he was ever with?”

Giggling now, Sally's replied. “I know I was. Because Mike came all over my hand before I could get his cock out of his underwear. And it was a good thing that I loved him and really wanted to have sex with him when I turned 18. Because after I had his cock in my hand, I kept playing with it until he was hard enough for me to put the rubber on it for him. The only problem was that Mike came a second time before he even got close to my pussy. Now with the only condom that I had ruined, I had no choice except to keep jerking him off again until Mike’s dick was hard enough to stick in my pussy.”

Since I was in a very uncomfortable position to hold her, I quickly made it up to my knees and removed my t-shirt. Then I slowly lowered my body on top of hers.

Now that I was in a much better spot, I gave Sally a big hug before I confessed by saying. “I have suffered from premature ejaculation. And it was ever since I was thirteen and a half years old, when I started jerking off. But I slowly taught myself a few tricks to last a little bit longer. One of them was, as you might have noticed with Mike already. Was that after Mike came the first time; he lasted a little longer before his second explosion. Then even longer before he erupted a third time, that builds up what I call banging stamina.”

As Sally started to giggle, I slowly kissed my way down to her seafood buffet starting at her forehead. Then I kissed the tip of her nose followed closely by a quick peck on her still giggling lips. And as I moved down over her chin and her empty Adam's apple, Sally started laughing.

Then as I quickly moved from her collarbone, I lightly licked and kissed the valley between her orange sized breasts. Now licking and kissing my way across from nipple to nipple, before making my way back down to the base of Sally's mountain peaks. Then it was a just short hop, skip and jump with two more quick kisses until I reached her naval.

Now that I’ve arrived dead center in Sally's naked universe, I rapidly tongued fucked her belly button. Then as I pretended it was Sally's warm and wet womanhood, which naturally caused Sally to start laughing all over again. But before she stopped, I made another two kiss leap down to her pelvic bone.

And as Sally started gasping for air, I very slowly licked and kissed my way down the entire length of her labia lips and back up to her clitoris again. Now with Sally playing with my hair, I backed my head away from her smorgasbord until our whiskers barely touched.

Then I looked up over Sally's pelvic bone and between her panting breasts, so I could see the want and desire deep within her dark brown eyes. Plus now that I had Sally's full attention, I blew two or three long lungs full of my hot breath up and down her wet labia lips.

That I very conveniently moistened with my very own saliva, moments ago. And in order to accomplish this without moving my head. I just moved my lower jaw in and out. Causing it to direct my hot breath up and down the entire length of Sally's exposed pussy lips, before I said. “Sally, in order to properly please you while I’m dining in your fertile "Y" region, I need to learn how to line up your valves first.”

Giggling, Sally quickly asked. “What valves? I don't have any valves to line up.”

Giggling now myself, I simply replied. “Yes you do. And no two girls are exactly alike, because they all keep their valves hidden in a variety of different locations. So if you don't mind, I’ll need to observe you while you pleasure yourself for me. You have pleasured yourself before, haven't you?”

As Sally's face flushed, she quickly tried in vain to cover her red face before saying. “Of course I have. But I've never done that in front of anyone before, except while Mike was taking a nap. Because I usually have to finish myself off after we’ve had sex.”

After slowly running the tip of my tongue up and down Sally's inviting pussy lips again, I quickly said. “If it will make you feel more comfortable, you can watch me jerk off later if you like?”

Laughing now, Sally just as quickly said. “No thanks, I've been there, done that, and got Mike’s cum all over my hands.”

Adding my laughter to Sally's, I once again asked, in a monotone voice this time. “Will you please masturbate for me? So I can discover how your internal plumbing works, because I want to break your cherry and I give you your very first oral orgasm tonight.”

After Sally let a soft giggle escape her lips, she quickly replied in a serious sounding voice. “You want to watch me to diddle myself? Why on earth for, when you’re right here with me?”

And in an equally soft and very serious voice I simply said. “Sally, if you can please yourself with me, a complete stranger watching you. You will have no trouble doing it again while Mike’s looking on. And once I see how to line up your valves, I can easily show you how to get Mike to open your spigot wide and get your juices flowing.”

Now with Sally giggling all over again, she paused for a few moments before saying. “With an offer like that, how in the world could I refuse? And I promise not to fake anything, while you’re dining in my Y region either.”

As I was slowly kissed my way back up Sally's body, I wasn't sure if my little one trick pony had ever been kissed by a man who had just finished eating her out before. One trick pony meaning of course, that Sally has only been with one other man before, and he was her boyfriend Mike. Because based on the facts I've seen so far, they didn't offer me any help in breaking the tie.

On one hand, Sally was willing and very eagerly kissed me back after giving me one truly amazing blowjob. While on the other, she was a bit self conscious about the possibility of her pussy smelling. And to top it all off, I only got a normal response from Sally as my middle finger entered her forbidden little bunghole. Normal meaning, exactly what I did when Sheri's finger invaded mine for the first time.

But since I was out to make an impression on this young lady, I decided to go for the gusto. And grab hold of the golden ring that Sally's still open and panting mouth offered me. Plus lady luck was truly on my side tonight, because Vlad the Impaler was as hard as a steel girder and more then ready to play his part too. But on my slow trek north, I had to make a brief pit-stop on the peaks of Sally's heaving chest.

Now with the tip of my tongue, I lightly traced the outer edge of her right areola. Then I also did the same to her left nipple with my index finger. Then at uneven intervals, I would pinch both of Sally's nipples at the same time using my thumb and forefinger on one and with my lips curled up over my teeth on the other.

Then after three or four cycles, I decided it was time to tune in Tokyo using both Sally's nipples as the dials of an old antique radio. As I slowly and softly started rolling both of Sally's pert little buds between my thumbs and forefingers, before I increased the pressure a little more each time.

And after a few minutes of this, Sally began moaning all over again and arching her back up towards me. So with the timing of Swiss watch and the speed of an Indy car, I struck both of Sally's openings at the same time. Since her iron was getting hotter and hotter by the second.

But in this case meaning, while her body was warmed up and her cunt was slick with want and desire. Now with the head of my cock waiting impatiently at the entrance to Sally's lady cave, my mouth perched just inches from her lips. And I penetrated Sally's mouth and cunt at exactly the same time.

Plus with the added bonus of her well lubricated love tunnel. My rigid shaft had no trouble sliding in balls deep, while my tongue wet straight in towards Sally's tonsils.

Sally eagerly accepted both gifts and wrapped her legs tightly around my waist. While at the same time, she wrapped her arms equally as tight around my neck. But because I couldn't do much else except to hug her back, that's exactly what I did.

You see, I was pinned so tightly against Sally's nakedness and unable to move a muscle. Except for my love muscle and tongue buried deep inside her. Then my little one trick pony shocked the hell out me. Then she pulled this rabbit out of a hat that she kept hidden somewhere. Because Sally began to slowly rock her hips up and down right underneath me.

And she was actually fucking me from the bottom of our tightly wrapped missionary position. Plus it was a beautiful thing too, because Sally wanted to make me cum. And she was willing to do all the work, just to get me there.

So I decided to let Sally have her moment in the spotlight. While I continued kissing her tender lips and helped to hold her body tight against mine. But while I basically just laid there and let Sally slowly make love to me. Even though I hated to admit it to myself, after two or three minutes with almost nothing to do, I was starting to get a quite board. 

But because Sally was doing a wonderful job fucking me, I decided to give her a few more minutes in the spotlight and center stage. While I continued to tongue wrestle and kiss her sweet and now overly juicy lips. 

Finally after two or three more minutes of allowing Sally to deal from the bottom of missionary position stacked deck. I decided that it was time to call her bluff and start playing a little dirty pool myself. So I turned up the heat, by making Vlad do a half dozen or so kegel flexes while he was still buried deep inside Sally's womanhood.

And right on cue. Sally relaxed and slowly released her serpent-like grip around my neck and lower back. Giving me a little bit more breathing room, not that I could do much of that either. Because our lips were still locked together like a pair of kissing angel fish, while our tongues to dance in Sally’s mouth.

But because Sally thought I already spilled my seed deep inside her love canal, I shocked the hell out of her right back. And boy did her eyes widen when I started thrusting in and out of her soaking wet cunt just as fast and as hard as I could. And within two or three minutes of me pounding her at that feverish pace, Sally reached the precipice of the mountain top that we started climbing together just a few heartbeats before I did.

Then I added my musky man marmalade to Sally's most recent vintage of her sweet woman's vaginal wine. We both took the plunge off the side of that cliff together. And while we were both free falling, Sally once again wrapped her arms and legs tightly around me. Now with bodies locked together once again, it was only natural that our lips should be too.

As we both slowly drifted towards the base of the mountain again. Sally and I were locked together, body, heart, spirit and soul. Not to mention, by our groins and lips too. And when we reached the bottom of that cliff, and our breathing returned to normal, Sally once again released her serpent like appendages from around my body.

Then I quickly rolled us both over so Sally was on top and I was on the bottom. I did this primarily for two reasons. But it also put Sally in a much better position just in case she wanted to give me another one of her amazing blow jobs.

First off, I wanted to softly caress her back, ass and spine. And second, I knew that my cork was about to pop out of her bottle. Or in layman's terms, my cock was about to slid out of her cunt. And I wanted our combined love making juices to bathe my balls and cock while it softened.

Once Sally started leaking, she said. “You tricked me into thinking that you already busted your nut inside me!”

Looking deep into Sally's dark brown eyes, I said. “I'm sorry. But I couldn't move and I needed you to give me some maneuvering room in order to properly make love to you. And if you didn't, we would have both never climaxed at the same time.”

Giggling, Sally confessed. “Ya. That was great; I've never had two orgasms with Mike before, especially one with him inside me. How did you make your penis do that? Because you’re cock felt just like Mike’s does when he’s cumin inside me.”

Giggling myself, I said. “There called kegel flexes or kegel exercises. They use the same muscles that you use when you try to stop peeing. And both girls and boys can learn to do kegel exercises when they have intercourse. Boys can do what I did or after every inward thrust they can flex and make their penis swell up a little bit more or dive in a little deeper.”

After giving sally a brief kiss, I continued saying. “And girls can add a kegel flex contraction to their hip rocking like you were doing to draw the penis in a little deeper. If you want to learn how to do it, all you have to do is try to stop peeing a few times in mid stream every time you take a piss. Then once you isolate the muscle you can start to control it when you’re not pissing.”

Kissing Sally again, I finished saying. “Then all you have to do is a dozen or so flexes ten times a day to strengthen that muscle even more. And the best part is you can do them while you’re standing in line at the bank or the market. Heck, you can even do them while you’re driving your car back and forth to work or lying in bed waiting to fall asleep. Then if you really want to spice things up in the bedroom, try holding each one for ten Mississippi's before releasing it. And I use them for other things too.”

Laughing, Sally asked. “You mean, other than faking your girlfriend out so she thinks you just came inside her?”

Quickly doing the math in my head, all I could come up with was that this might just be another northern custom that I wasn't aware of. Like that once you stick your dick in a woman's mouth; it's another form of shaking hands.

So I guess that after fucking a woman up north here, it automatically makes you boyfriend and girlfriend. But laughing right along with Sally, I said. “That, plus I use it to help me last longer too.”

Seriously now, Sally commented. “I wish you could teach Mike these kegel flex's of yours. Because you were inside me a good ten times longer than Mike ever was.”

Swallowing hard, I confessed by saying. “Sally, like I told you earlier, I too suffer from something called PE. Or by it's more commonly called name premature ejaculation, just like Mike does. But along the way, I've picked up a few tricks to help me last a little bit longer. And it's just like you said the night you and Mike first hooked up. Mike busted three nuts just to stick his dick inside you. Now let me just flip the script on you for a minute, if I may. First you start out by giving Mike a hand job. Then you give him two of your world class blowjobs back to back.”

Sally giggling now, asked. “You’re kidding right? About my blowjobs, aren't you?”

Looking squarely into Sally dark brown eyes, I said. “Sally, I've been with thirteen other women in my life. And your dick sucking skills are easily in the top five, if not in the top three.”

In truth, the only one ahead of Sally was Ashley, followed by Tori, Gwen and Marge as they filled out my top five cock sucking champions of all time. After we finally got up off the floor and a quick bathroom break, Sally and I moved to her bedroom and continued chatting away.

And once we were lying on Sally's bed, me on my back and Sally with her head on my chest. I started playing with her curly brown locks, before I continued with. “Now that you finished helping Mike bust three nuts in a row. You should have noticed that each new nut lasted just a little bit longer than the one before it. Maybe it will take four or five nuts before Mike can please you properly.”

Laughing now, Sally confessed. “Or I could keep using Mommy's Little Helper.”

Laughing myself, I commented. “And cheat poor Mike out of the pleasure of using it on you as part of your foreplay? This way he can jump in and finish you off in the last ten seconds or so.”

Sally giggling now, said. “Mike can only last forty-five seconds to a minute the first time we try to make love, so that little trick just might work for him. But I wish you could talk to him and maybe even help Mike out a bit. And even teach him that little trick of you sticking a finger in my ass. Because I never put anything in there before, but after what you did to me earlier. I think mommy’s little helper will be the first thing I try. Larry, how did you know to try that?” 

Trying to keep a straight face, I said. “I can see our first conversation going something like this. “Hi Mike, my name is Larry and I've been fucking your girlfriend while you two were on a break. Oh, and buy the way. I stuck my finger in her ass too. And she liked it.”

Sally on the defensive jumped right in with. “Our break-up was his stupid idea, not mine. And if he cared about our relationship as much as I did, he should have stayed with me and worked it out. Instead of breaking up with me and running off to supposedly clear his head. And how did you know that I needed or might like a finger in my bum?”

Lightly stroking Sally's earlobe and neck with my fingertip, I said. “While I was eating your lunch box and trying to get your valves aligned properly. Your little brown starfish kept winking at me, like she wanted a little bit of that attention too. But because your spigot wasn’t ready to flow yet, I had to hold off. And when I felt the timing was right, I slipped my middle finger in your butt.”

Chuckling, Sally simply said. “At first it felt kind of strange, if not weird. But because of what you were doing to my lunch box. After the initial shock, it felt pretty good. Almost natural, especially with what you were doing to both holes at the same time. I wonder if I can get Mike to do that to me too.” 

Giggling back at Sally, I quickly said. “All you have to do is like Mike see you sliding mommy’s little helper in and out of there a few times. And suggest that he try it with a finger or two.” 

Almost laughing now, Sally just said. “I wish you could teach Mike that too. Especially the way you secretly used finger fucking me to lube your finger up before you shoved it in my ass. Or my little brown starfish, as you called it. And even though I like that one, are there any other names for it?”

Laughing back at Sally, I simply said. “Well just to name a few. There’s bung hole, the Hershey highway, balloon knot, old brown eye and sphincter. And naturally there’s asshole and butt. Then there’s the old saying for anal sex too. When the north river runs red, take the dirt road home. Meaning that if she’s on her period, roll her over and fuck her in the ass instead.”

Then kind of serious now, sally asked. “I’ve never let Mike fuck me while I was on my period before. Have you?”

Giggling slightly, I quickly replied. “No, I’ve never let Mike fuck me while I was on my period. Matter of fact, I never even had a period before either.”

Giggling now herself, Sally started to lightly stroke my limp dick and said. “No silly, one of your other girlfriends?”

With a serious sounding voice now, I just said. “Yes, a couple of times with my first girlfriend. But be forewarned, the blood also acts as a lubricant and can make things extra slippery down there. Also be prepared to change the sheets when you’re finished, because the blood gets everywhere. And that’s why some people call it crime scene sex, because of all the blood.”

With a slight giggle in her voice, Sally quickly said. “I still wish you could sit down with Mike and explain all of this to him.”

And all I could say in response was. “You know this can only end two ways. Either Mike kicking my ass for fucking you or me kicking his ass for trying to kick mine.”

Almost crying now, Sally asked. “You won't hurt him will you?”

After lightly kissing Sally's other hand, I swallowed hard and said. “I can promise you this. I won't hurt him no matter what he says or does or does to me. I will just admit that I was wrong for trying to steal you away from him, but the better man won and got the girl in the end.”

After giggling again, Sally gave me a big hug and kiss before saying. “Thank you for being the better man.”

Then we chatted for a while longer before Sally had Vlad the Impaler back up on his bicycle again. And with him ready to slip in between Sally’s upper thighs, we made love a second time. Then Sally and I drifted off to sleep, still wrapped up in each other's arms.

And when Sally's alarm clock went off at 2  AM, I was sporting a huge piece of morning wood. That Sally quickly swallowed until I exploded, filling her mouth and throat for the second time in twenty-four hours. Then after giving Sally a very deep and passionate kiss, I headed off to take a shower before I started getting dressed for work.

But when I was finished, Sally was fast asleep and laying spread eagle on top of the covers inviting me to slip my cock inside her a third time. And if I truly had the time, I would have done just that. But I just stood there for a very long minute or two, staring at Sally's fully exposed body.

Then I finally shook my head and said to myself. “Dam, I wish that I had another twenty minutes or so to make love to her again.”

But with both common sense and a long drive still ahead of me, they finally won out in the end. As my big brain suppressed all of those male urges and quenched that fire burning from somewhere deep down inside my loins.

And still being the nice little Italian boy from a good family that I am. I settled for lightly kissing Sally's pussy, both of her nipples and finally her sweet tender lips. Before I started heading out into the parking lot and back down to North Chicago, school and duty. But when our lips touched, Sally quickly wrapped both her arms tightly around my neck and gave me one hell of a goodbye kiss.

And when our lips parted, Sally asked. “Larry, will I see you again?”

After giving Sally a quick peck on the lips, I simply replied. “Wild horses couldn't keep me away from you, and I hope to see you again in two days when I return.”

Then I slowly turned and walked out of Sally's bedroom and her apartment. And as I drove out of her parking lot, I continued driving until I was out of Wisconsin altogether. 

Then I soon entered North Chicago and later the Naval Education Training Center, Great  Lakes. And I continued driving until I reached my barracks just to change clothes, before breakfast and classes started. So I was finally back on track.